Empathy is one of the fundamental elements of any relationship. It’s an important facet of the human experience. But while caring is essential, caring too much will knot your emotions like a tangled fish line.
We get it. It’s the final nail in the coffin. You’ve been hurt again by someone you have deep connections with when you were only trying to help. How long can you endure the hurt? How long do you have to suffer the misery? Stress no more. Because we’ve compiled the top 31 ways to stop caring. Let’s put an end to this crushing stress once and for all:
1. Enforce Boundaries
Creating boundaries is a crucial part of every healthy relationship. Defining boundaries for yourself is essential because it clarifies the confusion and ambiguity that arises when dealing with emotional situations.
For example, you formed a boundary and don’t want to hear your pal talk about how awful their relationship is. So, when he engages in that conversation with you, just say: “Hey, I’m not interested. Can we talk about something else?”
2. Maintain Balance
As the saying goes: “Balance is a feeling derived from being whole and complete; it’s a sense of harmony. It is essential to maintaining quality in life and work.” People who care too much often feel that their relationship is not reciprocal. They spend excessive energy and time worrying about whether others care for them as much as they do. In such situations, don’t make it a tit-for-tat thing; instead, maintain a balance so that you don’t start over-investing.
3. Avoid Sources of Guilt and Shame
Regardless of whoever pulls out the gun, the effects of guilt and shame are long-lasting and incredibly damaging. Our advice? Step out of the argument where it stops being rational. Unfortunately, many people tend to react when you disrupt an argument, but it’s going to be beneficial for you in the long term.
4. Cut Out Negative People
When you hang out with your friend, make a proper assessment of their time with you. Do you feel comfortable and energized in their presence? Or do you feel drained and undervalued? If you agree with the latter, it’s time to make some changes to your social circle. Although it’s good to be a supporting and caring friend, some people just love wallowing in their misery. The best course of action here would be to reduce your contact with such ‘friends.’
5. Stop Stressing On Things You Can’t Control
Sure, you can change the outcome of many situations, but your influence over things like natural disasters, social problems, or your job is from insignificant to almost non-existent. Remember that you can’t alter the outcome of things outside of your control. Divert your mind to prepare for the outcome rather than focusing on preventing it.
6. Perfection Is A Myth
No man or woman born in this world is perfect. Remind yourself that perfection is blasphemy. The people you love will make bad decisions. You will make bad decisions. So next time your buddy gets you an apple juice instead of the orange, don’t make them or yourself feel miserable about it. Remember that imperfection is what makes us human.
7. “No” is a Complete Sentence
The word “No” is fueled with immense power and plays a significant role in conserving your mental peace. Don’t be naive and say yes to everything. This way, you’re openly inviting malicious people to take advantage of you. Instead, test the other person’s morale by saying no to things you disagree with. If they really care, they won’t react to it. Let the trash take itself out.
8. Judgemental People Exist
Judgemental people form opinions from their emotional place. Here’s an example; your friend called you a liar, and since then, those words have been echoing in your mind. Before burying yourself in self-pity, think for a minute. Do they have a conventional-mindset? What if they secretly hold grudges against you? In such situations, defending yourself would be a waste of your energy. The only reason that you should argue in such scenarios is if your image, credibility, or trust is being deliberately sabotaged in front of people you care about.
9. Social Media is a Trap
Did you know that the creators behind social media apps use behavioral psychologists to create algorithms that will keep you information-hungry? You might be familiar with the phrase “If it bleeds, it leads.” Negative and heart-breaking news always gets more traction and engagement than happy posts. Rather than stressing yourself with bad news, follow inspirational creators that cultivate happiness and gratitude.
10. Don’t Be A Hero All the Time
Society teaches us to be helpful to others. You should strive to help whenever you have the ability. But here’s the catch: you can’t always be a hero. When helping someone comes at the cost of sacrificing your own mental health, it’s a sign that you should give yourself a break. All you need to do is sit back and people battle their own problems once.
11. Accept That Life Is A Challenge
Our world is filled with countless problems. You’re not the first individual to struggle and won’t be the last. So stop caring about bad grades or that promotion you missed. Ups and downs are a part of life, just try to enjoy the little things around yourself. See your failures as an opportunity to learn, because you’ll probably forget about your difficulties when you start to win.
12. Work On Trust Issues With Your Partner
Do you spend too much time worrying that your partner will cheat on you? While it’s important to keep an eye out, overthinking about infidelity can be symptoms of controlling and manipulative behavior. Instead of stressing all the time, talk with your partner about your trust issues to lead a steady and healthy relationship.
13. Don’t Ignore Your Family and Friends
People generally tend to become distant from their families when they get romantically involved with someone. This is a huge red flag. While it’s important to devote time and energy towards your partner, it also raises feelings of ignorance and neglect within your family and friends. Making time for other relationships is just as crucial as investing in your marriage/engagement if you want to lead a happy life.
14. Practice Self-Love
We’re assuming that you have a big heart since you’re willing to learn self-control. And people with the biggest hearts require the most love. However, you don’t have to wait for people to take you on a private jet or bring you expensive gifts. The first step to stop over-caring is learning how to love yourself. When you become your own supporter, it will become easier to care less in situations that bring you down and you’ll start protecting your mental peace.
15. Garner Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is a perfect middle ground between arrogance and self-loathing. A self-confident person knows that they are valuable, flawed, and worthwhile. They unconsciously know in their mind that no matter where a situation goes, they’ll find their way forward. Such people don’t agonize over the “what-ifs” or consider themselves superior. Becoming self-confident will also negate your worries about what your partner is doing if you know they love you.
16. Lower Your Expectations
Some people have really high expectations — whether it’s their friends, family, or even partners. They expect them to match their mindset, and when they don’t live up to how they anticipated, the relationship becomes an emotional chaos. We agree that it’s good to have normal expectations from your relationships, but forcing someone is where things go downhill. Despite how harsh it sounds, leave some room for errors and disappointments, and you’ll be happier throughout your life.
17. Stay Confident About Your Dreams
Everyone has something that they are passionate about. It can even be materialistic things like a nice car, or intangible things like experiences. People that don’t have any clear goals care far too much about what other people are achieving. And when they see themselves lagging behind, they become insecure. Always have an ambitious goal in your life and realize that even though it will take time to achieve, the happiness from accomplishing it will be ever-lasting.
Prayer and meditation instills a sense of peace and calmness in your mind. We love to assign labels and meaning to everything that we do, but in meditation, there is no feeling. Think of it as a vacuum that drains all your thoughts away. Try to meditate around 20-minutes a day and think about situations where caring less will be helpful to you. Even if you don’t feel any difference, remain patient and you’ll eventually find your way towards peace.
19. Stop Obsessing Over Far-Fetched Love Stories
Social media has us believing in love at first sight and soulmates. And as dreamy as it seems, the chances of finding “the one” in your life are quite slim. At best, you might connect with another person. But if you build a relationship with that person over trust, understanding, and sacrifice — you’ll realize that love is not a game of chance but an on-going process. So stop wasting your time swooning over far-fetched love stories and try to find a decent partner who respects, supports, and appreciates you for who you are.
20. You Make Decisions For Yourself
When you are considering, for example, detaching from an intimate relationship with someone, it’s solely your call to make. You know the definition of toxicity in your life. No one has the power to control your decisions or dictate you in that matter. Evaluate and make your decisions yourself.
21. Do Your Best in Things You Can Control
Remember, we talked about how you can’t influence the things done by external forces. So then, you might be wondering what else can i do. A great way to start is by diverting your mind and altruistic energy to productive things. No, I don’t mean that you go and clean up the litter from the Great Pacific Ocean, but you can clean up some mess in your neighborhood. Plus, you will make our world a better place.
22. Not Everything is Worth Your Attention
Excessively caring about every little incident or negative information can overwhelm your emotions and senses. In order to become happy, you must grow a thick skin. Realize that not everything or everyone’s input is worth pondering over. Most people around us are insecure themselves and will try to bring you down as well. It’s your responsibility to deflect negative feedback and only take opinions from people who actually care about your progress and well-being.
23. You’re Unique in Your Own Way
Let’s assume that you got a new job and you’re really excited about it. But then you hear from a friend who got a five times higher paying job than you at a big multinational company. You start sinking into feelings of despair and enviousness. That’s where you go wrong. Comparison is a slippery slope that will always lead you to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. Instead of feeling unworthy, remind yourself that everyone becomes successful at their own pace. Many millionaires lead miserable lives, because true happiness doesn’t come from money, but your mindset and the people around you.
24. Don’t Mix Your Professional Life With Personal Life
Are you among those who constantly check their work emails or worry about your deadlines even when you’re off-duty? If you do, chances are you’re going to burn yourself out pretty soon. Start establishing a boundary between your work life and personal life. Remember that success that comes at a cost of mental health and relationships is never going to fulfill you.
25. Define Success For Yourself
There is no fixed definition for success — it’s always you who defines what success means. For some, it could be becoming a billionaire, while for others, it could be having the freedom of time and place. Once you work your way out to becoming successful, you will stop worrying about the progress of others around you and start deriving more happiness from your career and life.
26. Affirm Yourself
Be proud of yourself. Be proud of what you have achieved and how far you’ve already come. Consider it as optimistic brainwashing to ignore whatever other people say about you. Practicing self-affirmation will stop you from caring about the minor inconveniences and failures in life, and push you towards your goals and objectives in life.
27. Things Won’t Fall Apart Without You
Volunteering for new tasks, timely submission of work, and maximizing productivity does classify a person as a “go-getter.” Still, we often fail to realize that we are setting up a clear path towards failure. Always remember that the world won’t end without you, so there’s no reason for you to push your limits for work while sacrificing the important things in your life. Always prioritize your time and energy and spend it on more important things besides your job.
28. Have a List of Good Deeds
As humans, we are inclined to think negatively. We naturally think about our wrongdoings and mistakes instead of striving to overcome our weaknesses. Don’t forget that one bad experience doesn’t make you a flawed person. The best course of action here would be to make a diary of all your good doings. It would serve as a great self-esteem booster, help you ignore self-deprecating thoughts, and care about the things that would actually benefit your progress.
29. You Are Openly Inviting Physical Illnesses and Mental Disorders
Even though it sounds terrible, caring and stressing too much about things beyond your control can make you vulnerable to physical illnesses. Anxiety, depression, and a weakened immune system are all the results of high cortisol levels. Studies have shown that having high levels of cortisol poses serious health risks like heart disease, stroke, cancer, and high blood pressure. For the sake of your physical well-being, start taking care of your mental health and ignoring the insignificant things in your life.
Caring is embedded in our minds and is not simple or easy to ignore. It takes a lot of practice, patience, and self-control to adopt these changes in your life. Make a promise to better yourself, and when you start wandering off track, remind yourself that it’s never a smooth road towards progress.
Caring signifies that you’re a compassionate person, but make a note that you should never sacrifice self-dignity and respect. Don’t get lost in despair if you lose a couple friends. Remember, they left because they couldn’t respect your boundaries, and it’ll clear the space for a healthier social circle.